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žena:\zhay'na\ means woman in czech moon:\moon\ honors the power, cycles and light reflected throughout our lives |
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boundaries |
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large pillar (not shown) - 3"x7", burns up to 100 hours
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About This Candle Once we understand the importance of personal boundaries, setting them can often be the easy part in comparison to upholding them. Especially if you're a people-pleaser who abhors confrontation (not that I would know anything about that). Taking care of our Selves, particularly where boundaries are concerned--both personal and professional--is an ongoing stretch that truly gets easier and more graceful with practice. —Carla Blazek, creator, zena moon |
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Customer Feedback
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Our Recommended Books, Music & Movies for Boundaries zena moon sells books, CDs and DVDs in association with Amazon.com. To order, click on the item's title or image, then add it to your Amazon shopping cart. Orders are then filled and shipped by Amazon. Send us your recommendations for this page--we may post them here!
Last updated 3/17/2005
1. When I Say No, I Feel Guilty
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From Amazon.com: I am a psychologist working in a college counseling center, and this is the number one book on assertiveness that I recommend to my clients. Dr. Smith begins by describing "Your 10 Assertive Rights," a reminder that we all have a right do such human things as say "I don't know" and change our minds. He then introduces various assertiveness strategies one by one, starting with the very basic skill of persistence (AKA the "broken record" technique). For each strategy, Dr. Smith presents a short dialogue vignette to help you better understand how to apply that technique to real life. Once he has thoroughly taught all of the individual techniques, Dr. Smith puts them all together and addresses assertiveness in different types of situations--i.e., with your family members versus with your boss. This is a great book for anyone who is tired of not being able to say "no" and ready to learn how to change their behavior.
2. Setting Limits: How to Raise Responsible, Independent Children by Providing Clear Boundaries
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From Amazon.com: Do your children misbehave? Do they repeatedly ignore or refuse your requests for proper behavior? Are you constantly fluctuating between permissive and authoritarian parenting, with little or no success? Are you convinced there has to be a better way? There is. Setting Limits will help you establish the positive, respectful, and instructional groundwork your children need for proper ethical and behavioral development. In this revised and expanded edition of his popular book, Robert MacKenzie, Ed.D., demonstrates proven techniques and procedures that not only correct misbehavior but instill the cooperation and conduct you want and expect from your children. This book shows parents how to:
- Enforce clear, firm, and
effective boundaries
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From Amazon.com: Bestselling author and frequent Oprah guest Dr. Harriet Braiker offers help for anyone who has ever felt the resentment of giving 100 percent to others and getting nothing in return. Featured on NBC's Today, The Disease to Please explodes the dangerous myth that "people pleasing" is a benign problem. It is the first book to treat people pleasing as a serious psychological syndrome, and it breaks new ground in its approach to offer a cure. Dr. Braiker offers a 21-Day Action Plan for curing the Disease to Please. A daily psychological workout and skills-training program, it will help readers replace the compulsion to comply with a more conscious and reasoned choice to care.
1. Evolve
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From Amazon.com: Some 15 years and nearly as many albums into her career, Ani DiFranco--the original girl-power prophet and folkie punk--is still as willful as ever. Her lyrics remain poetic, polemical, and yes, occasionally maudlin; her musical explorations sound more like refinement than radical revision, but it's clear that she's still, well, evolving. Always a strikingly gifted and expressive singer and guitarist who employs her voice and guitar as both rhythmic and melodic instruments, DiFranco builds this set of songs on those basics but draws generously from the wide range of styles she's sampled since her stripped-down early days. A slinky Latin guitar line snakes through "Promised Land," gutsy New Orleans brass adds swagger to "In the Way," and jazzy keys, cool clarinets, and mournful muted trumpets lend color and tone to nearly every cut. Hooks are scarce in the disc's mushy middle, but the lush, horn-laden groove of "Here for Now" recaptures the momentum, and DiFranco even drops a signature 10-minute epic in "Serpentine." Like Evolve itself, "Serpentine" is sprawling, funny, angry, compelling, and entirely unafraid.
Original Release Date: 2002
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From Amazon.com: You don't expect a Broadway star to be slow burning and funky (Ben Vereen notwithstanding), but Heather Headley is both. Best known for her stage roles in The Lion King and Aida--the latter won her a Tony--the Trinidad native is used to arch performance. Yet her debut album focuses on smooth, lean R&B grooves and Headley's honeyed voice. Heartbreak is Headley's ace. "I Wish I Wasn't" is a tortured missive dispatched from an empty home. "Always Been Your Girl"--the set's hands-down centerpiece--finds Headley pleading with a longtime friend to consider her in a different light. It's a staggeringly powerful song--the kind you can imagine Headley belting out beneath a stark spotlight--made all the more stunning by the fact that the whole collection isn't tied to that one emotion. Also here are the breezy, Mars-Venus meditation "Nature of a Man" and the near-tribal thump of "Like Ya Used To." There are producers and guests aplenty, but Headley is, as always, the star of the show.
Original Release Date: 1992
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From Amazon.com: Emotionally and musically intense, Little Earthquakes shows that the piano is as much a rock & roll instrument as the guitar. Tori Amos's debut (if one disregards Y Kant Tori Read, as one would be well advised to do) is at once listenable and challenging; she takes on every topic, from sex to gender to religion, in an uncompromising manner. Her music appears gentle at first, but this appearance is deceiving, as one quickly learns upon listening to the wrenching "Crucify" or the almost violent "Precious Things." By the time the album gets around to "Me and a Gun," sung hauntingly by Amos without accompaniment from her piano, the juxtaposition of Amos' sweet voice and the emotional complexity of her lyrics is both familiar and shocking. Sandman fans should listen for a reference to author Neil Gaiman in "Tear in Your Hand."
1. The Sopranos - The Complete First Four Seasons
(1999) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com: The Sopranos, writer-producer-director David Chase's extraordinary television series, is nominally an urban gangster drama, but its true impact strikes closer to home, chronicling a dysfunctional, suburban American family in bold relief. And for protagonist Tony Soprano, there's the added complexity posed by heading twin families, his collegial mob clan and his own, nouveau riche brood. The series' brilliant first season is built around what Tony learns when, whipsawed between those two worlds, he finds himself plunged into depression and seeks psychotherapy--a gesture at odds with his midlevel capo's machismo, yet instantly recognizable as a modern emotional test. With analysis built into the very spine of the show's elaborate episodic structure, creator Chase and his formidable corps of directors, writers, and actors weave an unpredictable series of parallel and intersecting plot arcs that twist from tragedy to farce to social realism. While creating for a smaller screen, they enjoy a far larger canvas than a single movie would afford, and the results, like the very best episodic television, attain a richness and scope far closer to a novel than movies normally get.
(1994) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com: When a Man Loves a Woman is a dumb title (not another classic pop song, please) for a very smart movie. A kind of gender-switch take on The Lost Weekend, it's about a woman (Meg Ryan) whose alcoholism almost destroys her family. That may sound like just another TV movie, but When a Man Loves a Woman is so authentic in detail and emotion, that everything about it seems fresh, urgent, and engrossing. That's because the film is grounded in the actual experience of co-writer Al Franken (assisted by Rain Man scripter Ronald Bass). Franken is best known for his affiliation with Saturday Night Live and Politically Incorrect, and as the author of Rush Limbaugh Is a Big Fat Idiot. You may recall that Franken is the creator of Stuart Smalley, 12-step programmer extraordinaire. Well, if you want to know how Stuart was born, you can start here. This is no comedy, however. In fact, one of the most painful realizations comes when attractive, "good-time girl" Alice Green (Ryan) and her husband (Andy Garcia) begin to realize how much of a role alcohol played in their marriage and in bringing them together in the first place. The issues and experiences confronted in this movie go far beyond the stuff you see on Oprah.
3. Chasing Amy
(1997) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com: Writer-director Kevin Smith (Clerks) makes a huge leap in sophistication with this strong story about a comic-book artist (Ben Affleck) who falls in love with a lesbian (Joey Lauren Adams) and actually gets his wish that she love him, too. Their relationship is attacked, however, by his business partner (Jason Lee), who pulls a very unsubtle Iago act to cast doubt over the whole affair. The film has the same sense of insiderness as Clerks--this time, Smith takes us within the arcane, funny world of comic-book cultism--but the themes of jealousy, deceit, and the high price of growing up enough to truly care for someone make this a very satisfying movie. | |||||||||
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