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grief

Item No. C1001-04

obelisk (not shown) - 3"x8", burns up to 80 hours

 

size: obelisk

 

price: $18.00

 

  other sizes available:

       small pillar  |  medium pillar  |  large pillar

 

quote on label:

"There are some griefs so loud

 They could bring down the sky,

 And there are griefs so still

 None knows how deep they lie."

May Sarton

 

color: dusky lavender with purple swirls

scent: eucalyptus & magnolia

gemstone: lapis lazuli

 

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About This Candle

Every candle I create is deeply personal, so not surprisingly this was a difficult candle to reach inside and manifest. It was also crucial, as I grieve the recent losses of several dearly loved ones. If you have a need for this candle, know that you are not alone. We are together, and you are in my prayers. Carla Blazek, creator, zena moon

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Our Recommended Books, Music & Movies for Grief

zena moon sells books, CDs and DVDs in association with Amazon.com. To order, click on the item's title or image, then add it to your Amazon shopping cart. Orders are then filled and shipped by Amazon. Send us your recommendations for this page--we may post them here.

 

Last updated 12/20/2005

 

Icon  Books

1.  The Year of Magical Thinking

    by Joan Didion (Hardcover - 2005)

    Avg. Customer Rating: 4.5 out of 5 stars

 

    From Amazon.com: Many will greet this taut, clear-eyed memoir of grief as a long-

    awaited return to the terrain of Didion's venerated, increasingly rare personal essays. The author of Slouching Towards Bethlehem and 11 other works chronicles the year following the death of her husband, fellow writer John Gregory Dunne, from a massive heart attack on December 30, 2003, while the couple's only daughter, Quintana, lay unconscious in a nearby hospital suffering from pneumonia and septic shock. Dunne and Didion had lived and worked side by side for nearly 40 years, and Dunne's death propelled Didion into a state she calls "magical thinking." "We might expect that we will be prostrate, inconsolable, crazy with loss," she writes. "We do not expect to be literally crazy, cool customers who believe that their husband is about to return and need his shoes." Didion's mourning follows a traditional arc--she describes just how precisely it cleaves to the medical descriptions of grief--but her elegant rendition of its stages leads to hard-won insight, particularly into the aftereffects of marriage. "Marriage is not only time: it is also, paradoxically, the denial of time. For forty years I saw myself through John's eyes. I did not age." In a sense, all of Didion's fiction, with its themes of loss and bereavement, served as preparation for the writing of this memoir, and there is occasionally a curious hint of repetition, despite the immediacy and intimacy of the subject matter. Still, this is an indispensable addition to Didion's body of work and a lyrical, disciplined entry in the annals of mourning literature.

 

 

2.   Hannah's Gift

    by Maria Housden (Paperback - 2003)

    Avg. Customer Rating: 4.8 out of 5 stars

 

    From Amazon.com: Hannah's Gift addresses a mother's deepest fear: the death of a

    child. Amazingly, Maria Housden's skillful writing and mature understanding of grief make this a spiritually inspiring story about life. Housden is eager for us to learn all the lessons Hannah offered while she was dying of cancer, such as wearing red shoes that click and sparkle when you walk and never letting a doctor touch you without knowing their first name. For the reader, however, the most compelling character is Housden, a mother who endures the unfathomable. One morning Housden looks at her face in the mirror and realizes, "The grief that once threatened to swallow me up had found a home in my bones. My suffering wasn't something I was going to have to let go of; it became part of what I had to offer, part of who I am." Sure, you're going to cry. But it's the kind of heart-cracking-open cry that comes from an abundance of feelings: sorrow for this wise and gut-honest narrator; tenderness for Will, the loyal older brother that Hannah left behind; and love for this baffling, wonderful life that gives us gifts like Hannah.


 

3.  Conquering the Mysteries and Lies of Grief

    by Sherry Russell (Paperback - 2002)

    Avg. Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars

 

    From Amazon.com: Conquering the Mysteries and Lies of Grief presents an innovative

    investigation into loss. Being based on hundreds of interviews along with personal experience, the book clarifies how and why grief catapults us into a crisis, threatening our mental, physical, and spiritual health. Through the revealing frank conversations, you discover fresh information on how to take an active role in your grief, while adjusting to new realities. You learn how to handle the "snootful of shoulds" while finding out the variables that make your grief so unique. Grief takes you on a bizarre maze-like journey allowing you to explore and plow through your pain to get to a life filled with goals and not despair. Conquering the Mysteries and Lies of Grief does not tiptoe around the powerful reality of grief. Grief is miserable, unpredictable, and intimidating work, however, by understanding the domino effect of loss you can go on to live a life of graciousness and radiance.

 

 

 

Icon  Music

1.   Elegy

    ~ Gregorian Chant, Francis Poulenc, W. A. Mozart (Audio CD)

    Original Release Date: 2002

    Avg. Customer Rating: 5.0 out of 5 stars

    

From Amazon.com: For sheer beauty of choral singing few conductors either past or present can match the wonders of vocal production, line resolution, intensity of performance and reverence for various composers' writing than the incomparable, much missed Robert Shaw. This CD contains selections from his recordings of the masterworks of choral literature and although many listeners will feel that they wish the entire works were present, this sampler is till a very apt eulogy for Shaw. The works range from Gregorian chant through Mozart (one of the loveliest "Ave Verum Corpus" on records), Beethoven, Brahms (his definitive "Schiksalslied"), Verdi, Fauré, Durufle, Hindemith and Schoenberg (is there a finer "Friede auf Erden"?). Shaw conducts his Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and Chorus as well as his Festival Singers on certain tracks. The sonics are rich and lush and the experience of hearing these fragments is to define beauty.

 

 

2.   Agnus Dei: Music of Inner Harmony

    ~ W. A. Mozart, Samuel Barber, Gabriel Fauré (Audio CD)

    Original Release Date: 1997

    Avg. Customer Rating: 4.87 out of 5 stars
 

From Amazon.com: Beyond this recording's new age packaging and title is a splendid sampling of some of the world's finest choral music, sung by one of the world's outstanding choirs. This "anthology of sacred choral music" spans 400 years and includes such masterpieces as Allegri's Miserere, Bach's "Jesu, joy of man's desiring," and Barber's exquisite Agnus Dei, which is the composer's choral setting of his famous Adagio for Strings. Along the way we also hear Mozart's sublime "Ave verum corpus," Elgar's "Lux aeterna," and the Kyrie from Palestrina's Missa Papae Marcelli. There has been a choir at England's New College, Oxford, since the year 1379, and this impressive line of experience shows in the intelligent, unfaltering, and finely polished performances by today's ensemble of 16 boys and 12 adults.

 

 

3.   Gabriel Fauré: Requiem and Other Choral Music

    ~ Gabriel Fauré (Audio CD)

    Original Release Date: 2000

    Avg. Customer Rating: 4.59 out of 5 stars

 

From the Artist: John Rutter's groundbreaking research and subsequent performing edition of Fauré's beloved Requiem has enabled us to hear the work as the composer originally intended. His first version of the piece included only a chamber orchestra with lower strings, harp, timpani, and organ. Four years later, Fauré added two movements and slightly expanded the orchestration. This is the version that Rutter and his inimitable Cambridge Singers perform here-- and it's a glorious revelation, especially if the only Fauré Requiem you've heard is that for full orchestra, which the composer himself neither created nor approved. Rutter and his singers give us a wonderfully sumptuous yet detailed performance that benefits tremendously from the newly realized clarity of inner lines and from the richly colored orchestral textures.

 

 

 

Icon  Movies

1.   Under the Sand

    Starring: Charlotte Rampling, Bruno Cremer

    (2001) ~ DVD

    Avg. Customer Rating: 4.7 out of 5 stars

 

From Amazon.com: François Ozon's Under the Sand revolves around a tender, frightening contrast not easily forgotten: the dead live on only as long as we remember them. Marie (a luminous Charlotte Rampling) and Jean (Bruno Cremer), a middle-aged couple, are on vacation. As they ready the beach house almost wordlessly, a long-standing, intense love is immediately understood. While Marie naps on the shore, Jean goes off for a swim from which he never returns. Six months later, back in her empty Paris apartment, Marie goes about her life as if Jean is still there with her, reading in bed, massaging her feet, sitting at the breakfast table. At dinner parties and lunch dates, her close friends are visibly appalled her behavior. It becomes clear that Marie's place in society is increasingly precarious with a ghost at her side: her husband's bank accounts remain frozen because no body has been identified, her lectures at the university end abruptly in silence, her untimely laughter frightens a new lover. Ozon does not manipulate the viewer with surprise endings or try to charm with gags. Instead, we are intimately drawn into Marie's refusal to let go and her awful panic as Jean begins to fade.

 

 

2.   In the Bedroom

    Starring: Sissy Spacek, Tom Wilkinson

    (2001) ~ DVD

    Avg. Customer Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

 

From Amazon.com: When a film with such emotional resonance and visual poise as In the Bedroom makes it to the screen, it seems an unexpected gift meant to remind us of the medium's possibility for sensitivity and epiphany. First-time director Todd Field, who adapted the film from a story by Andre Dubus with screenwriter Rob Festinger, quietly observes the loss, rage, and inexorable desire for revenge that follows the murder of a 21-year-old son. The film opens with Frank (Nick Stahl), back from college for the summer, taking up with Natalie (Marisa Tomei), a slightly older, sexually alluring woman with two boys and an estranged husband prone to violence. It is the tender portrayal of love between Frank and his parents, even as Frank and Natalie's relationship reveals the prejudices of all involved, that makes the subsequent anguish of the film so acute. Matt and Ruth Fowler (Tom Wilkinson and Sissy Spacek), middle-class denizens of a Maine lobster town where everyone knows each other, toil through weeks of devastation and blame following Frank's murder before their outrage obliterates all else. Field's exact handling of jealousy, class division, and grief is abetted by career-highlight performances from Wilkinson and Spacek. In the Bedroom is, along with You Can Count On Me, one of the best American dramas to grace the new millennium so far.

 

 

3.   Monster's Ball

     Starring: Halle Berry, Billy Bob Thornton

     (2002) ~ DVD

     Avg. Customer Rating: 3.3 out of 5 stars

    

From Amazon.com: The unflinching realism and searing performances of Monster's Ball are stunning in all the connotations of the word. Hank (Billy Bob Thornton) and Leticia (Halle Berry) inhabit stark, queasy realities of the contemporary South, he as a death row corrections officer and she as the soon-to-be widow of an inmate (Sean Combs) whose execution Hank helps conduct. In the aftermath of the execution, both lose their children to tragic deaths and they form an unlikely bond. In the hands of lesser participants, the fateful plot might strain credibility and seem tailored to allow for liberal sermonizing about the obvious wrongs of our legal justice system, but director Marc Forster and cinematographer Roberto Schaefer balance the contentious nature of the film's issues--the death penalty, racism both overt and subtle, interracial couples--with a flawless attention to character and visual detail that completely convinces. The moral ambiguity of both central characters is given full voice as our sympathy is drawn out reluctantly at first but all the more resolutely in the end. Thornton draws from seemingly limitless resources to deliver yet another outstanding performance, but it is Halle Berry who is a revelation as she sustains throughout the complex tenor of brutality witnessed and raw courage defined.

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