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žena:\zhay'na\ means woman in czech moon:\moon\ honors the power, cycles and light reflected throughout our lives |
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kiss my ass! |
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obelisk (center) - 3"x8", burns up to 80 hours |
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About This Candle Know those days (weeks, months) when too many people you meet are impatient, short-tempered and irritating? When someone you work with is rude, condescending or possibly even unethical? When the person you've been dating turns out to be a big fat scummy jerk? When the very thought of interacting with one more person causes you to grab fistfuls of hair and scream bloody murder? When you want to answer every ringing phone by shouting "WHAT?!" When you're pretty sure you'll hurl a loaded stapler at the next person who walks through the door? Me too. Now we can turn off the phone, light this candle and heave a big sigh of relief, because our kiss my ass candles create a magical force field impenetrable by jerks, especially when accompanied by fierce scowling and a maniacal grin. The perfect combo for many workplaces! —Carla Blazek, creator, zena moon |
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Our Recommended Books, Music & Movies for Kiss My Ass! zena moon sells books, CDs and DVDs in association with Amazon.com. To order, click on the item's title or image, then add it to your Amazon shopping cart. Orders are then filled and shipped by Amazon. Send us your recommendations for this page--we may post them here.
Last updated 2/16/2005
1. The Portable Dorothy Parker
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From Amazon.com: On one occasion, when challenged by a friend to use the word "horticulture" in a sentence, Dorothy Parker replied "You can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think." Possessed of a razor sharp intelligence and a wicked turn of phrase, she stands as perhaps the single finest American wit and humorist of the early 20th Century. This expanded edition of The Portable Dorothy Parker collects all three of her volumes of poetry, both volumes of her collected short stories, and a great deal more besides--all of it guaranteed to give readers hour after delightful hour.
Like her contemporary and only serious competitor James Thurber, Parker's work often focused on the battle of the sexes, and many of her short stories--such as "Dusk Before Fireworks," "You Were Perfectly Fine," and "Here We Are"--present savagely funny portraits of couples who are on the edge in more ways than one. She is also extremely famous for her monologue stories, particularly "Telephone Call," in which the reader essentially overhears the thoughts of the character it portrays. But she is perhaps best remembered for her sharply comic poetry, which is typically written as a subverted jingle that goes unexpectedly awry, often in the most morbid way imaginable; "One Perfect Rose" and "You Might As Well Live," to name but two, have been standards of American poetry collections since they were first published. And no theatrical critic has ever equaled Parker for sheer comic acidity.
But Parker was not simply a humorist. While a
number of her poems address deeper subjects--"Rainy Night" is particularly
memorable--many of her short stories are intensely dramatic. "Big Blonde"
details the slow decline of a woman who is passed from man to man, never
finding happiness and drifting into alcoholism and attempted suicide; "Clothe
the Naked" presents a touching portrait of a black woman struggling to survive
in a hostile white world. Her eye for detail is remarkable; her style is
distinctly her own, a mixture of the clinical and the wryly comic; be it comic
or tragic, she is in full command of her art in every selection. This is one
that belongs on your shelf, no question about it. Strongly, strongly
recommended.
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From Amazon.com: Jennifer Louden, author of The Woman's Comfort Book, gives women a do-it-yourself guide for creating solitude. Because women tend to nurture relationships more than they nurture themselves, it is often a challenge for women to carve out the space and time they need for private renewal and reflection. Louden offers women inspiration and specific advice on how to retreat within their own homes, as well as how to create rejuvenating weekends and vacations. She even devotes a full chapter to the most pivotal stage of any retreat--the successful re-entry into home, family, and community. With warmth and humor, Louden offers sound advice that is appropriate for all women who need to retreat from the rush of everyday life in order to nourish, revitalize, and rediscover themselves.
3. Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye
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From Amazon.com: Described by the Chicago Tribune as "perhaps our funniest war correspondent on the war between the sexes," Cynthia Heimel reminds us, with this collection, how much we truly need her. Her advice, administered forcefully and forever accompanied by fits of laughter, guides us, and sometimes just shoves us, through the maelstrom of our times. Where else can a woman find such expert dating advice as: "Never believe a person is interested until you feel his tongue down your throat." Naturally. Get Your Tongue Out of My Mouth, I'm Kissing You Goodbye is her soothing antidote to this absurd world for smart, sane, and, of course, fantastically cool women.
1. Final Straw
Original Release Date: 2004
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From Amazon.com: The warm
melancholy of Gary Lightbody's voice makes for a versatile instrument on Snow
Patrol's
Final Straw, artfully balancing bright anthemic rock
with disparate reference points like Belle and Sebastian and My Bloody
Valentine. Aching with loves both lost and leaving, it's a voice that producer
Garrett Lee uses as a jumping off point, dropping fat guitars, electronic
noise, and eclectic instrumentation in with Lightbody's breathy, moody depth.
The band plays around with wild shifts of texture; "Gleaming Auction" veers in
seconds from a relaxed shuffle to a shoegazing crunch, while a blanket of
fuzzbox swagger calls forth the ghost of T. Rex on "Tiny Little Fractures."
But just when you're ready to throw the record on random shuffle with Electric
Warrior or maybe Heaven Tonight, the band lays down a pastoral ballad like
"Same." Somehow it holds together beautifully, stuffed with songs that reward
repeat listens and ear candy that keeps you full for days.
2. 50 Foot Wave
Original Release Date: 2004
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From Amazon.com: Kristin Hersh is a mesmerizing and talented artist always unafraid to explore and share the reality of who she is. In a career full of busy years, 2003 stands out as a very busy year for Kristin Hersh. In March of 2003 Hersh put out not one, but two full-length releases--The Grotto, her fifth solo record and an all-new Throwing Muses record for the first time in seven years. Add to that the birth of her fourth son (Bodhi), months of touring, a cross-country move, and the formation of her first new band since she began making music with Throwing Muses in the early 80s: 50 Foot Wave.
50 Foot Wave is propelled by the racecar engine of Kristin's guitar and her explosive, feral vocals. Bernard's bass, as always, is a muscle, undulating through Kristin's wall of sound. Ahlers drumming is ferocious and unbridled, at once supporting and keeping pace with Kristin's driving and relentless sound. The trio are tight and powerful, creating music that is precise, emotional and seemingly on the edge of control.
The band will continue to build on the innovative work Kristin has been doing since the mid-nineties, finding new and exciting ways of involving fans in the music. They’ve provided early versions of songs as mp3s for download and opened one of the band’s early rehearsals to interested fans--120 people, some from as far as 3,000 miles away traveled to the practice where they were served pizza and beer in an atmosphere that was decidedly more "living room" than rock club. Hersh says, "We’re very lucky to have these people who care so much about us. Since 1994 we’ve had a web community (throwingmusic.com) of involved fans who’ve been there day in and day out. It’s been a great thing for us. We love the idea of one-to-one relationships driving the music business instead of marketing dollars.
Original Release Date: 1995
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From Amazon.com: Her intensely personal lyrics grabbed the headlines, but the bravest departure here is the way Morissette's unique vocals stand naked in the mix--a technique that drives home the painful honesty of tracks like "Right Through You," "Forgiven," and "All I Really Want." Sheryl Crow or an earthier Tori Amos are fair analogies, but Morissette is a genuine original with a rare ability to make listeners care, think, and question.
1. Deadwood - The Complete First Season
(2004) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com: The remarkable first season of Deadwood represents one of those periodic, wholesale reinventions of the Western that is as different from, say, Lonesome Dove as that miniseries is from Howard Hawks's Rio Bravo or the latter is from Anthony Mann's The Naked Spur. In many ways, HBO's Deadwood embraces the Western's unambiguous morality during the cinema's silent era through the 1930s while also blazing trails through a post-NYPD Blue, post-The West Wing television age exalting dense and customized dialogue. On top of that, Deadwood has managed an original look and texture for a familiar genre: gritty, chaotic, and surging with both dark and hopeful energy. Yet the show's creator, erstwhile NYPD Blue head writer David Milch, never ridicules or condescends to his more grasping, futile characters or overstates the virtues of his heroic ones.
Set in an ungoverned stretch of South Dakota soon after the 1876 Custer massacre, Deadwood concerns a lawless, evolving town attracting fortune-seekers, drifters, tyrants, and burned-out adventurers searching for a card game and a place to die. Others, particularly women trapped in prostitution, sundry do-gooders, and hangers-on have nowhere else to go. Into this pool of aspiration and nightmare arrive former Montana lawman Seth Bullock (Timothy Olyphant) and his friend Sol Starr (John Hawkes), determined to open a lucrative hardware business. Over time, their paths cross with a weary but still formidable Wild Bill Hickok (Keith Carradine) and his doting companion, the coarse angel Calamity Jane (Robin Weigert); an aristocratic, drug-addicted widow (Molly Parker) trying to salvage a gold mining claim; and a despondent hooker (Paula Malcomson) who cares, briefly, for an orphaned girl. Casting a giant shadow over all is a blood-soaked king, Gem Saloon owner Al Swearengen (Ian McShane), possibly the best, most complex, and mesmerizing villain seen on TV in years. Over 12 episodes, each of these characters, and many others, will forge alliances and feuds, cope with disasters (such as smallpox), and move--almost invisibly but inexorably--toward some semblance of order and common cause. Making it all worthwhile is Milch's masterful dialogue--often profane, sometimes courtly and civilized, never perfunctory--and the brilliant acting of the aforementioned performers plus Brad Dourif, Leon Rippy, Powers Boothe, and Kim Dickens.
2. La Femme Nikita (Special Edition)
(1991) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com:
From the moment the title
Nikita
appears on the screen and you hear Eric Serra's loud, cool,
industrial-sounding score, you know you're in for a ride.
La Femme Nikita
is one of the most important films of the 90s, an outstanding thriller that
revolutionized French cinema. Anne Parillaud stars as Nikita, a young punk who
kills three cops while trying to get drugs. She is sentenced to life in
prison, but instead of going to jail, she finds that her death has been faked.
She is given a new identity, and trained by the government as an elite
assassin. After three years of training, she is allowed back on the streets,
free to enjoy life, with one condition--whenever the government needs her, she
be there. The consequence of not responding to a call is death.
(1999) ~ DVD
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From Amazon.com: From its first gliding aerial shot of a generic suburban street, American Beauty moves with a mesmerizing confidence and acuity epitomized by Kevin Spacey's calm narration. Spacey is Lester Burnham, a harried Everyman whose midlife awakening is the spine of the story, and his very first lines hook us with their teasing fatalism--like Sunset Boulevard's Joe Gillis, Burnham tells us his story from beyond the grave.
It's an audacious start for a film that justifies that audacity. Weaving social satire, domestic tragedy, and whodunit into a single package, Alan Ball's first theatrical script dares to blur generic lines and keep us off balance, winking seamlessly from dark, scabrous comedy to deeply moving drama. The Burnham family joins the cinematic short list of great dysfunctional American families, as Lester is pitted against his manic, materialistic realtor wife, Carolyn (Annette Bening, making the most of a mostly unsympathetic role) and his sullen, contemptuous teenaged daughter, Jane (Thora Birch, utterly convincing in her edgy balance of self-absorption and wistful longing). Into their lives come two catalytic outsiders. A young cheerleader (Mena Suvari) jolts Lester into a sexual epiphany that blooms into a second adolescence. And an eerily calm young neighbor (Wes Bentley) transforms both Lester and Jane with his canny influence.
Credit another big-screen newcomer, English theatrical director Sam Mendes, with expertly juggling these potentially disjunctive elements into a superb ensemble piece that achieves a stylized pace without lapsing into transparent self-indulgence. Mendes has shrewdly insured his success with a solid crew of stage veterans, yet he's also made an inspired discovery in Bentley, whose Ricky Fitts becomes a fulcrum for both plot and theme. Cinematographer Conrad Hall's sumptuous visual design further elevates the film, infusing the beige interiors of the Burnhams' lives with vivid bursts of deep crimson, the color of roses--and of blood. | ||||||||
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